I don't even smoke!

Updated: Sep 23


I have read a meme saying: "You will always be a villain in somebody's story" and this is how this post came to light from the depths of my elephant memory.


10 years ago, I was happily married (or so I thought) and we loved to share everything with each other, good and bad, bla bla bla, you know what I mean. One day, my husband asked me to light up a cigarette for him because his hands were wet (he was doing the dishes). Who knows me also knows that I am a people-pleaser so I didn't think much of it.


Even if I don't even smoke, I got a cigarette from his pack, put it on the tip of my lips, got the new lighter that was next to the ashtray and ... I didn't even got the chance to light it because I felt a sharp pain in my thumb and I dropped the metallic lighter on the kitchen's floor. The shiny, new lighter landed on our dog's head and Edgar run away, but not before giving me the look, lifting his tail up, very annoyed by my lack of respect.


I was shocked for a second, but then I realized what happened and started to laugh with tears. I liked that my husband felt comfortable enough to prank me with something so childish like an electric shocking lighter so I asked him if I can borrow it for a day. I didn't have a specific person in mind as my future victim. To be honest, I was planning to spend some time the next day, at work, on both of the smoking areas, at different times of day, so I could prank more than one of my colleagues. I was ecstatic and couldn't wait for the time to pass and for the next day to come.


In the morning, I went to work earlier, so I could have time to prepare the scene. I had a few scenarios in my mind and I was ready to play any of it, just to have the satisfaction of someone else getting the electric shock, too. And I didn't have to wait for long.


A colleague of mine came and we chatted for a while. The problem was that I chickened out, so I decided to spare her and prank somebody else. She was just so young, so beautiful, she had Angelina Jolie's lips and I just couldn't see myself pranking her. I was annoyed with myself for changing my mind, so I decided to toughen up and to put my plan into action with the next person, whoever he/she may be. I had to be ruthless and stop cherry picking.


A few minutes later, another colleague joined our little group; let's call him Mr Y. Because we were in the same team and he knew both of us and, also, because he was the nicest man alive and the kindest person on the face of the Earth, I thought that he will find my innocent prank very funny.


I was not sure how to initiate it, but he made things easier for me when he asked very politely for a lighter. Ahh!!! The joy that I felt when my Angelina Jolie colleague said she didn't have one. I opened my bag and gave the lighter to my kind colleague. I was already seeing all 3 of us laughing of how funny was the prank and discussing who should be the next to feel it. But my joy was short lived because something unexpected happened. The second I handed him the lighter it started to rain. But not light rain. It was heavy rain with big droplets of... coffee. OMG! What have I done?


It looks like my thrill to prank someone made me blind because I haven't realized that Mr Y had a plastic cup of coffee in his hand while trying to light up his cigarette. The electric shock that went through his body made his hand shake so hard that the whole cup of coffee went up, high in the air, and landed on top of our heads, on our clothes, bags and on the whole floor of the smoking area. Everything was slippery and covered in sticky coffee. It was like a brown ice rink.

I was gutted and just looking at Mr Y was painful. How could I be such an idiot and not see the big cup of coffee that he was holding? The truth is that I do hate coffee and my eyes usually ignore the sight and my nose ignore the smell.


With a hurt look on his face, Mr Y excused himself, took a taxi back home and changed his white shirt that had coffee chicken pox. I felt so ashamed of my immature behaviour and I still am to this day. I never thought an innocent prank will go so wrong. I will never forget the coffee rain and the fact that a dear colleague of mine had to pay the taxi twice to go back home, change his clothes and come back at work again just because of me.


Like I said before, Mr Y was the nicest man alive and the kindest person on the face of the Earth. The fact that he forgave my behaviour and didn't hold the grudge is another confirmation of his big heart.


After the coffee rain event he still showed up to my 30th birthday party, we still went to the seaside with our group of friends and shared a few tequilas and some deep, drunk talks, we still have silly pictures from Christmas parties, Halloween parties, birthday parties, costume parties, weddings, ecology events ( fancy word for picking garbage from forests), charity events for dogs, kids or elderly people.


I don't know how angry he was with me because he never showed it but, be sure, I was extremely upset with myself and I have been really beating myself up for it. I am happy that we are still friends and this is my way of apologising again and thanking him for being such an amazing human being!


Have a good one, everybody, and may you win at the Lottery of Life!

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